I found myself entering Aldi by chance one day in December, only because I was near. I had not planned this trip so my grocery bags were not in hand, but i only needed a few items. I carried my box of juices, some paper plates and forks for the basketball team dinner, a last minute stocking stuffer and a jar of feta stuffed olives that my tummy couldn’t pass up.
Depositing my items in the belt to be scanned with zero problems, I hear the cashier ask if I wanted to purchase a bag. Thought about it and decided against it because I had just walked down the aisles with no problems and I already had a ton of bags at home, I politely declined.
My items were not stacked exactly as I had them previously, but it was a short walk to the truck. I walked through the automatic doors, turned to my left and the heavy wind hit the oversized Reese’s stocking stuffer and blew it right off of my stack of items.

Without a thought in my head, I knelt down to retrieve it and then wondered how I was going to get back up. Here’s the thing with having three major joints fused. You just don’t work like you used to. I don’t believe my fused pelvis was that much of an issue, but by George those bilaterally fused ankles sure were. I have a hard enough time rising from the ground with no items in my hands, I couldn’t believe I’d made such a silly mistake.
Using all of the strength that I had, I pushed my knees in towards each other and pushed upwards. It was more than slightly awkward and as I rose with my blood rushed face of exertion, the cashier looked at me strangely.

Turning again to leave the doors opened and that blasted wind took the box of lightly weighted forks. To the floor I knelt again. This time I was close enough to the glass wall that I leaned my left shoulder up against it and shimmied my way to standing again. Turning to the automatic door the wind took the paper plates this time. Every curse word that I’ve ever learned was said in my head all at the same moment. Again close to the wall, there was a small part of the frame between the glass windows that I hooked my left elbow on and pushed like heck and got myself to standing again. With complete physical and emotional exhaustion I glanced to my right and the cashier was in complete awe of what was happening in front of her. Her looked of complete confusion was nearly humorous had I been able to feel any humor at all at that point.

With my arms wrapped around the items and my neck and chin holding the items down I head out into the cursed wind. Was it really this windy when I arrived? Twenty yards to the truck. Ten feet in, the blast of air took the Reese’s and the plates. Glancing from those items to the truck, I judged the distance from the curb to the truck wondering if anyone would steal my items before I returned, I decided to drop the other items to the curb. In the process of attempting to sit on the curb with my stupid grocery items and cry in Aldi’s parking lot, a gentlemen came to me and said, ” I see you are having some trouble today.” Only a little, partner, I thought.

He helped me to my feet and stacked my items for me. As I placed my items in the back seat, I asked God, why when the last few weeks had been so challenging, so messed up and painful due to a medication mix up, why would He choose now to teach me some sort of lesson. So I asked just that! “What possible lesson am I supposed to learn from this and why today?” The answer came quickly and bluntly.
He said, ” You should have just bought the bag Carey.”

Two weeks ago, on a Monday morning, one such lesson showed itself to me on a familiar drive into Cuba, MO.  An all too familiar drive.  Shortly after the kids left for school, it was my turn to make an almost three hour trek through the rolling hills of Missouri to reach Marble Hill, where I would present to Woodland High School.   I have mentioned that I always wear something to remind myself of how strong I am and that presenting about my recovery is important.  This particular Monday I wore a special bracelet that I had just received from my Aunt Bertina.

She had mailed it to me and I did not open my mail until late Sunday evening.  She had sent me a hand written note explaining that the bracelet was owned by my Great Aunt Irene who had recently passed.  Explaining the importance she saw in the bracelet as it related to my life and experiences, she wanted me to have it.  It was a beautiful, emotional letter and when waking Monday morning, it was an easy decision to pick up the bracelet and wrap it around my wrist as my reminder piece for the day.

My GPS refused to load as AT&T’s signal was not strong this day.  Hoping it would connect by the time I reached the end of my drive way, I headed past our barn lot and came to a halt at the mail boxes, noticing there was still no connection.  Turning onto the gravel road while messing with my phone had crossed my mind, but I chose to stay put, close the app and start over.  All of which took a few measly seconds.  Heading up the country highway, I knew it would be silly to turn onto the interstate when I could take a shorter route to my destination.   Traveling down the South Outer road, also known as Route 66, I knew I would pass the site of our crash.  I travel this stretch of highway often, never  intentionally looking at “the spot”, but always knowing it’s there.

This morning was beautiful.  The temperature was perfect, it was slightly overcast but still had the feeling of summer and I was excited to be speaking in this part of Missouri.  Each time I present I think about the hour or so that I will spend with the audience, if there is an experience that I would like to add and who may be affected by my words.   I soon found myself more involved in what was going on in my mind rather than what was happening in my surroundings.

That familiar section of blacktop, pine trees, railroad tracks and grassy ditch came into my view and jarred me back to reality, just in time to see a red SUV pop over that same small hill and travel half way into my lane.  Slow motion began as I watched the weight of the vehicle lean into that curve as the wheels turned and grabbed the pavement to quickly jerk back to the correct side of the road.  Spontaneously I was thrown into a flash back of a white truck in that exact same motion with huge white head lights  heading straight towards me.

Instinctively pushing on  the brakes with both feet our vehicles missed hitting each other by a moment.  Not yelling, but loudly I said to that driver, “Dang you! Dang you for making me feel this way!” as my heart beat ferociously in my chest and my eyes were as wide as could be.  Calming myself, I noted that it was a reminder to always be paying attention.  Had I not trusted my instincts to stop at the end of my drive way to check my GPS, I would have come around the corner at the identical moment the other driver did and again I would be in a collision.

I wore my Great Aunt Irene’s bracelet because my intuition told me to.
I whole heartedly believe she was my guardian angel that Monday morning and that makes me smile.